EVEN MORE THAN MASTURBATION, self-deprecation and love, Woody Allen is obsessed with the meaning of death. His adages are so plentiful that I’ve collected them and I’m distributing them in three separate missives. Part I (see the archives, April 28, 2024) explored the relationship between Love and Death. Part II here looks at the advantages and the disadvantages of death.
The Advantages of Death
“Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily as lying down.”
“I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.”
“There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?”
“Do not think of death as an end, but think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses.”
“If I died right now, I wouldn’t complain – and neither would a lot of other people.”
The Disadvantages of Death
“Eternity is awful long time, especially towards the end.”
“Life is full of misery, and loneliness, and suffering, and unhappiness – and it's all over much too soon.”
“As humans, we are simply hardwired to resist death. The blood trumps the brain. No logical reason to cling to life, but who cares what the head says? The heart says: Have you seen Lola in a miniskirt? As much as we whine and moan and insist, often quite persuasively, that life is a pointless nightmare of suffering and tears, if a man suddenly entered the room with a knife to kill us, we would instantly react. We grab him and fight with every ounce of our energy to disarm him and survive. (Personally, I run.) This, I submit, is a property strictly of our molecules.”
“My relationship with death remains the same — I’m strongly against it.”
“What if there’s no God, and you only go around once, and that’s it. Don’t you want to be part of the experience? You know, what the hell, it’s not all a drag.”
“The chief problem about death … is the fear that there may be no afterlife — a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it’s being held.”
Next week: Should I help my father end his life?
This is hysterical! Some lighthearted thoughts on the meaning of death. We can all use a good laugh. Thank you!