“By meditating on death, we paradoxically become conscious of life. How extraordinary it is to be here at all. Awareness of death can jolt us awake to the sensuality of existence.”
– Stephen Batchelor, Buddhism Without Beliefs
NOT ONLY DO THOUSANDS of people have similar near-death experiences (NDEs), most survivors immediately adopt new attitudes about life and death.
In most instances, according to Dr. Bruce Greyson, experiencers realize they are no longer afraid to die, which “has a profound impact on how they live their lives,” because “you lose your fear of life as well – you’re not afraid of taking chances.” In his most recent book, After, Greyson writes, “They see a purpose in life they didn’t see before.”
In his pivotal Life After Life, Dr. Raymond Moody quotes one fellow: “Since I died, I try to do things that have more meaning, and that makes my mind and soul feel better. And I try not to be biased and not to judge people. I want to do things because they are good, not because they are good for me.” Moody writes that “there is remarkable agreement” that it is important to try “to cultivate love for others, a love of a unique and profound kind.”
After their NDEs, people become more thoughtful, more charitable, more sensitive, more involved, more empathetic, more metaphysical. Their friends and loved ones notice the changes in their personalities. Greyson sometimes asks people to describe their partners before and after an event and they’ll say, “Yeah, this isn’t the person I married; this is someone different.”
Greyson tells of a guy named Tom Sawyer (!), a highway department supervisor whose truck crushed his chest. His wife described him before his NDE as “violent, throwing things at me, shouting that he was head of the family and we had to do whatever he said…. But after his NDE, he’s become compassionate, gentle and considerate. He hasn’t raised a hand to me or the kids once in all the years since his NDE.” On the other hand, she complained, he now treats everyone with that same loving compassion, and at times she feels neglected because he is off helping a stranger in need. She sighed, “He couldn’t care less about the fact that our sofa is falling apart and we need a new one. We have the money saved to buy one, but he doesn’t see the point.”
“I’ve got story after story of people who couldn’t go back to the same profession,” writes Greyson. “Of people who were, say, career police officers who couldn't shoot a gun after a near-death experience, of people who were in competitive businesses who no longer felt it was meaningful to get ahead at someone else’s expense.”
Chris Jankulovski told Newsweek that he woke up in a hospital operating room after being accidentally administered an overdose of morphine. “I woke up with the sensor on my finger that measures your heart rate — I looked at the machine and thought, ‘Why is it flat lining?’ When you get so close to death and you come back, you can’t help but recognize the wonders of being here,” said Jankulovski. “For me, it’s like being a kid at Disneyland. Someone says: ‘Enjoy all the rides, do whatever you want but, while you’re here, just try to look after everyone else and contribute something good to the park.’ ”
The International Association for Near-Death Studies claims that most people who attempt suicide are more likely to try it again. But those who have had an NDE are much less likely. “They say they have learned that their lives have purpose. They see life as a gift.”
I’m sure you’re asking: Where is the science? In their books, Moody and Greyson wade through story after story. That’s the problem: NDEs are anecdotal. There are not many ways to prove a fantastical story of personal reminiscence.
Next Week: One kind of “proof” that does exist
In the Archives: Part I (the possibility of NDEs) and Part II (Similar Sensations)
Wonderful. Thank you!
Enjoying the ride. The 80s don’t seem so bad.